Texans Megan and Kevin Bond on their wedding day. Courtesy Photo: Megan Bond
“The sound that came out of my mouth was not human. It was such a loud scream, like a banshee or something.”
Eighth generation Texan Megan Bond recounted the stories of her dangerous pregnancies to COURIER Texas writer Bonnie Fuller. Here’s what happened, in her own words:
I feel bad for anyone who was in the medical office at the time I and my husband learned that our second desperately wanted baby was suffering from the same fatal fetal anomaly, bilateral renal agenesis, as our first baby.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. We had been told that there was only a 1% chance that we could have a second baby with bilateral renal agenesis, a condition in which your baby develops with no kidneys and no lungs so it will suffocate just after birth.
I was 15 weeks pregnant and had just had my anatomy scan. As my husband, Kevin, and I watched the technician, we could see for ourselves on the ultrasound screen that our baby boy, Teddy, had no amniotic fluid around him inside my womb.
We knew that meant that he had no kidneys, like our first baby, Keith, who we had made the very difficult decision to abort, because he was going to die right after birth.
We had learned through this first heartbreaking experience that kidneys are necessary to produce a fetus’s amniotic fluid. Without amniotic fluid, it’s impossible for a baby’s lungs to develop.
Even though we had now seen that Teddy’s little body was not surrounded by amniotic fluid, we were hoping against hope that we were wrong, as we waited in utter silence for the maternal fetal medicine specialist to come in and see us.
Every second waiting was agony.
Then she came in and confirmed the worst possible news—our second precious baby wouldn’t survive.
Time just stood still. My scream was irrepressible. Emotions just took over.
My husband and I hadn’t even told our parents that I was pregnant. But now we couldn’t put it off. We had to call and tell them the news immediately—both that I was pregnant, and that I was losing this new much longed-for baby.
I had first met Kevin when I was 30. We were married in October of 2022 and by the fall of 2023, after trying to conceive, we learned that we would have to go through IVF (in vitro fertilization) in order to have a family.
Happily, we were able to make seven embryos and when we transferred our first embryo it took, which was fantastic.
We found out that we were going to have a little boy as our first child, and I knew that I wanted to name him Keith after my paternal grandfather.
That was one of the best moments of my life—when I told my dad and he cried, knowing that his dad’s name was going to live on.
We got the happy news about my pregnancy two days before Christmas, so we were able to tell everybody during our Christmas celebrations that we were pregnant. Can you imagine a better gift than telling your parents that they would be grandparents?
And oh my gosh, everybody cried.
The Bonds’ dog, Tank, looks at images from their sonogram.
Not surprisingly, when we were at our first anatomy scan at 17 weeks, Kevin and I were very excited. We were watching our baby move around and we were looking at his heartbeat. We didn’t know that anything was wrong until our maternal fetal medicine specialist came in and told us.
She explained that our son had no kidneys, which meant that there was no amniotic fluid around him, and with no amniotic fluid his lungs couldn’t develop.
This meant that he would be crushed in utero without the amniotic fluid, and then if he did survive until birth he would suffocate because his lungs wouldn’t work, and it would be incredibly painful for him.
I knew immediately that the decision I would make was to terminate the pregnancy with an abortion. I could take on my baby’s pain so he wouldn’t have to do it.
Later, we talked to other doctors about our son’s condition but every one of them said the same thing: No baby with this diagnosis had ever survived.
Learning about our options
Before this happened to us, I was only vaguely aware of the abortion laws in Texas. I just knew that the law was terrible and that you couldn’t get an abortion in Texas.
What happened after the maternal fetal medicine specialist told us about the fatal diagnosis for Keith is all kind of a blur.
I do know that I immediately asked: “What can we do about this?” And her answer was, “Nothing.”
I also asked if, in our case with this diagnosis, I could end the pregnancy in Texas and she said, “No, in Texas your only option is to carry to term.”
Then I asked if it was legal somewhere else. I could tell that she was very hesitant to respond, but she did say yes.
I realize that she stopped talking because she was afraid and I don’t blame her. I don’t hold any grudges because there is so much at stake for doctors.
My husband and I were in complete shock after we found this out. We had had a healthy pregnancy. I had counted down the weeks of the first trimester knowing that’s when most of the miscarriages happen.
The invitations to a baby shower that my best friend was going to hold had already gone out two days before. We actually received it in the mail two days after we got the deadly diagnosis for Keith.
When Kevin and I got to the parking lot after the anatomy scan, we just bawled in each other’s arms.
Then we told our parents. I don’t know how Kevin drove home.
I was not mentally able to do the research to figure out what to do. Luckily, my dad’s a retired physician so he knew what to look for. He found us a clinic in Denver that could get us in before I reached their 20-week cutoff.
My parents, despite learning that their only grandbaby wasn’t going to survive, were there to support us, find us all comfortable places to stay, and come with us to the clinic.
We really were lucky despite the terrible situation, because we had full support from both sides of our family. No one was questioning our decision. No one was making us feel guilty, which is not the situation for a lot of women.
At the clinic in Denver…and after
The staff at the clinic were all so kind and knowledgeable. They said all the right things.
It was a two-day procedure and they let my husband be there as much as possible, including during the termination procedure, which I’m sure was incredibly difficult for him.
At first it was too overwhelming for Kevin and I to think about trying to get pregnant again. But about three months later, we decided to try with another of the embryos we had made during our IVF treatment.
We were told by all the doctors that we consulted that having another baby with bilateral renal agenesis would be like having lightning strike twice.
We had six embryos left, and our IVF doctors told us they were excited for us to try again. That we were going to be parents.
I got pregnant right away again, but we were so nervous we didn’t tell our parents this time. After what we had just been through with Keith and the abortion, we were really robbed of the joy of pregnancy. The joy of being optimistic.
We couldn’t plan a nursery. The first time I got pregnant, my husband went out and bought a ton of maternity clothes for me because he was so excited. But this time, neither of us did anything to prepare.
After we got the devastating news that I was losing a second baby to the same fatal fetal anomaly, we decided that we had to get the best genetic expert counseling that we could.
My IVF doctor recommended that we consult with Dr. Mark Evans in New York City. We wanted to see him before undergoing the second abortion, so we could do an amniocentesis procedure and get full genome testing.
We were desperate to learn why this had happened to us twice, especially when it was such a rare condition and we had no history of kidney issues in our families.
He spent four hours with us and was so empathetic. He explained everything that he was doing and answered all our questions but all the tests he did turned up nothing that could have caused the bilateral renal agenesis in our babies.
Unfortunately, there is nothing we can look at or test for in future pregnancies to prevent it.
We had to fly from New York City back to Colorado for a second procedure, where my parents met us again to provide support. I don’t even remember how we got back to Texas—it’s such a blur.
‘I think Texas’s abortion bans are cruel’
I think Texas’s abortion bans are cruel. The decision to have an abortion should be between a mother, whoever she wants to consult, and her very qualified team of professionals who spend years studying.
I think people should have autonomy to make their own decisions.
I don’t think politicians, with no medical experience, should be making decisions about abortion. They aren’t even listening to what doctors are saying.
Essentially I believe in smaller government. But this is big government. This is government getting involved in people’s personal lives and making decisions for them.
One of the first reactions I had to the news that the Texas law would force me to carry a doomed baby to birth was: “How do I sue the state?” No one should have to leave their state to get medical care to terminate a pregnancy.
We were very fortunate. We found a good clinic to go to. We had flexible jobs so we could take time off. In fact, I’m the CEO of a small business. We also had parental support and we could afford to do all of this. It probably cost us $10,000.
But how many people have $10,000 sitting around?
I don’t want people who aren’t in our situation to have to carry a baby to term and not have a choice. We had the choice available to us to leave Texas, but very few people do.
My goal is to get Republican lawmakers who control the Texas legislature to add an exception to the abortion bans for lethal fetal anomalies. That’s not saying that fighting the laws should stop there, but I am wary about how much I and other advocates will be able to do in this state. But this is what I can do in my situation.
When I tell my story, people are convinced. They don’t believe that women should have to carry a baby that has a fatal fetal anomaly and will die right after birth, like Keith and Teddy would have.
They agree that an abortion under this circumstance should not be illegal. Even my most right wing friends or people that I talk to who are “pro life” think there should be an exception to the abortion law for fatal fetal anomalies.
I know it’s going to be very hard to get things to change in Texas. People aren’t educated on the issues and people just go and vote Red all the way down the line.
After Keith died I wrote to every single politician in the state whose email address I could find. I also wrote to the members of the state Supreme Court.
However, the only response I got was a form letter from one legislator telling me that they were “doing all we could to protect unborn children.”
My letters had fallen on deaf ears.
I’m an eighth generation Texan. I love my state, but my state doesn’t love me.
But I will still keep educating people. And now I have people advocating for me. They know my story and whenever they hear someone saying that stories about women being forced to carry babies that will die right after birth are fake, they explain to them that they are wrong and that this happened to Megan.
Despite everything we have been through, my husband and I still want to have a family, so we want to try again.
It’s a heavy decision to make knowing what potential pain we’re putting ourselves into. We really hope to have a family some day in the future—but we are more fearful every day about the fact that it is getting more and more difficult to safely have a family.
