Death cafes are events where people can have open conversations about death and mortality, and they're becoming more popular. (Nini FromParis/Unsplash+).
Death cafes may sound grim in nature, but they were created to foster a sense of community. Here’s what you need to know.
In 2011, Jon Underwood came up with the idea for his non-profit, Death Cafe, after learning about the cafe mortel movement in Switzerland (“cafe mortel” translates to “death cafe” in English). While they’re most often held in traditional cafes, these events can take place anywhere, as they’re meant to serve as a way for people in the community to come together to talk openly and honestly about death. As Underwood explained to The Guardian in 2014, conversations about death and dying were usually reserved in Western culture for healthcare professionals, religious figures like priests, or those who work in funeral homes and cemeteries.
He created the death cafes so people could have these important discussions—including whether they wanted to be cremated or buried, or how to organize their finances before death—in a safe, welcoming environment. At the gatherings, people would drink coffee or tea, eat pastries, and “help — make the most of their (finite) lives.” It sounds morbid, but in reality, it helps people remove some of their anxiety and fear about death. Not only their own deaths, but their loved ones’ as well. Death cafes have since grown in popularity, with thousands being held throughout the US, including some in San Antonio.
Aly Leija, a local death doula, spoke with Axios about the growing movement. As someone whose career centers around sitting with people as they reach the end of their lives, Leija is no stranger to death and the difficult conversations it brings. She’s hosted her own death cafes in the city, both in person and virtually, and plans to continue this practice in the new year. During her conversation with the publication, Leija stressed that these events are not “a grief group, a counseling session, or a place to push religious or other spiritual agendas.”
Death cafes are designed solely to provide people with the opportunity to discuss mortality and related subjects, and to help them feel less alone. Leija believes they’re becoming more popular following the pandemic, since COVID forced people to understand that death can happen to anyone at any time. If you don’t plant accordingly, “you leave all of these things undone, all the loose ends untied for your loved ones,” she said. Through talking and planning openly, you ensure that you and your loved ones are adequately prepared whenever the time comes. Plus, you may just earn a newfound appreciation for life in the process of doing so.
Sound like something you might be interested in? Leija is hosting a death cafe in San Antonio in February, and we’ve got the details for you below.
Where to attend a death cafe in San Antonio
On Friday, February 6, Aly Leija is hosting a death cafe at Hash Vegan Eatery, located at 5007 S Flores St. in San Antonio. The event is set to begin at 5 p.m. If you’re unable to attend but are interested in learning more, ABODE—a hospice home in San Antonio—hosts death cafes on the second Saturday of every month. You can RSVP or request more information about ABODE’s cafes here.
The official Death Cafe website also provides instructions for holding your own event if you’d like to organize something yourself. This link will take you through the step-by-step process.
This article first appeared on Good Info News Wire and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.
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